


hear me now

by ididntsignupforthis



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Religious Content, serious trigger warnings alright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8845366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ididntsignupforthis/pseuds/ididntsignupforthis
Summary: a five chapter series where tyler hears josh pray for him.





	1. the first time

_It can’t get anymore raw when the person silently praying for you thinks you aren’t hearing them speak truthfully._

* * *

 

Tyler’s conscious had slowly driven away from his forgetful place. His eyes were closed, but he was awake. This would occur often. Dreams, almost like a perfect replacement for alcohol to forget about the pain for a while, started to lose touch with his REM sleep. Tyler would awaken for no reason at all. In fact, he’s been doing so for as long as he can remember. As a kid, he would look to his alarm clock with red neon numbers flashing _12:02AM_. Only three hours later to be 3:29. Nightmares were a rare occurrence. He wasn’t afraid of the dark. But with a child’s innocence, they found themselves back in their dream world without any problem. As Tyler grew older, it was a little harder to fall back asleep. His could feel and even hear his eyes screaming to go back to sleep but no matter how comfortable he would get, his own alcohol would be so hard to drink just one more sip.

Tyler didn’t bother opening his eyes. The same thing was happening again.

_“Thank you… Thank you…”_

Tyler felt a soft hand gently pull back small strands of hair away from his face. The same hand now stroking his cheek.

“Thank you so much…”

_What’s happening? Should I ask if Josh is okay?_

Tyler closed his parted lips and breathed in. A small gasp was heard, and Josh’s hand was gone. He nuzzled his face in the crook of Josh’s neck and deeper against the pillow. Tyler was hoping for a slight chance that Josh would shake him to ask if he was awake. His chance open to ask.

Josh hummed, beginning to caress Tyler’s bare side with his arm that was beneath him.

“Thank you for this angel. I can only say that so much to where I hope you understand that you’ve blessed me with something- no, someone who deserves much more than what I give. I shouldn’t say because I’m just happy to have him next to me now but I will never be enough for him.”

_What?_

“Forgive me, my insecurities get the best of me. But I have to share that the thought is a mind trap. It leads me to these… these other mice traps that hurts to rip off, but a sense of relief is appreciated. I ask for you…

_Is he…?_

“God, I envy my angel’s strength. He’s so strong and puts up with so much. Please. It hurts me to see him wallow in something I can’t understand sometimes. Please help guide him to fight off this monster that haunts him. I ask for you to hear me now.”

_Don’t cry._

“In your name I ask for guidance. Amen.” Josh pressed his lips to Tyler’s temple, and that was it.

_…Amen._


	2. the second time

Tears staining clothed knees, it was another day in the week where you would refer to it as the “bad days.”

Tyler was sitting on the bathroom floor against the tub. He was so caught up in the labyrinth in his brain. He couldn’t remember how his thoughts started to spread like wildfire. How he ended up crying ugly and pathetically. The subject of purpose is a mind trap. Due to what Tyler believed, he couldn’t understand how there were people living happily with a family and the thought of “What am I here for?” or “What is my true purpose?” never occurs to them. Even if it did, they aren’t bothered by it and continue to live on. There was a time when Tyler believed you didn’t need a purpose to live. It’s somewhat true. Those people _that Tyler can’t deny is jealous of_ are the living figment of not being disturbed.

The maze led him to a confusing path of self-destruction. He figured those people just view life as something that is given. To experience. To love. Have a few arguments here and there. Enjoy what you can and breathe in what you get. I guess you could say that’s their purpose. What they value.

 _You don’t need a purpose to live…_ Tyler thought.

Not in a sense of “letting go.”

But being so desperate to end it all.

_Ok. I don’t need a purpose. There is nothing for me here. Can I say goodbye now?_

Tyler started to think it was rather unworldly even, to live for something when you can’t promise to live for someone else. What was that? And what if someone loses their purpose? They become lost? What happens now?

Tyler would then feel something. Something inside him that he can’t quite pin down but a sense in which he felt everything was going to be okay. He could beat… whatever this is. He made arguments against himself. He would go far where he would have a conversation with himself and found the end point of it. It was understood and a loophole to escape from being miserable was created **_by him._**

Despite that, Tyler’s main problem was he chose not to see. Choosing the bad things, hoping it would eventually lead him to what he was also afraid of.

Death.

 

Tyler hiccupped. He was doing so well. But his unanswered questions seemed to relapse in purposely falling. The temptation to start seeing the grim reaper grew tight and heavier in his chest. That’s one of the things that bothered him. He could feel the numbness.

 

“Tyler?” Josh knocked.

Tyler stood up. “I’m busy.” He grimaced.

_Hey. Watch it with him._

“Are you okay, my love?”

No response.

“Can I come in? Tyler?”

No response.

Much to Tyler’s dismay, it slipped his mind to lock the bathroom door.

“Baby?” Josh took a step forward. Tyler refused to look up. He could feel Josh’s worried eyes stare him down. An expression he’s guilty of seeing one too many times.

Josh grunted when he was suddenly pushed against the bathroom counter. Tyler made a run for it.

Running away from Josh was never the answer. The guy was especially agile. Running away from your problems won’t make them disappear.

Josh should’ve considered a two-story house. The bathroom was the first door from the corridor, the entrance just a few feet away. He’d never been so quick in his life. Josh didn’t mean to act rough but before Tyler could touch the door handle, Josh grabbed Tyler’s shirt by the collar, pulling his back against his chest and wrapping his arms around him.

Josh’s knees became wobbly from the impact which caused his back to collide with the wall, sliding down to the slate floor with his steady grip on Tyler remaining.

Tyler didn’t care about the fountain of tears falling from his face occasionally dripping on Josh’s arms that never untangled from his chest. His breathing was uneven, continuing to struggle away from Josh.

“Tyler. Please calm down. It’s okay.”

No’s and Let me go’s were mumbled for a good forty-five minutes.

 

* * *

 

 

A pinkish red hue painted their living room. The silk curtains to the glass sliding doors open.

 The sun was beginning to set.

Josh stayed with Tyler until he was sure he was asleep.

Kissable lips parted, breathing maxed out. Josh combed his fingers through Tyler’s hair to ease out any headaches that could turn into a severe migraine.

Tyler wasn’t fond in swallowing pills so whenever a migraine would come across his schedule, he only crawls into bed with the lights off. Praying that god would just let him sleep. Josh would be there with him. Tyler’s migraines last around twelve hours at the most, but those weren’t the worst. The short two to four hours screaming out in pain made him feel as if he was on his deathbed. Screaming during a migraine probably isn’t the smartest thing to do but he couldn’t help it. Josh had gotten so worried, he called to appoint an MRI. Nothing was found except his wisdom teeth.

Josh checked the time on his phone.

5:14PM. It was going to get dark soon.

Josh turned Tyler slightly to get a better hold of his legs. As Josh lifted him up, Tyler made a small “mm” to try and find the comfort he had sitting against Josh’s chest.

“Ssh…” Josh held Tyler tighter, walking to their bedroom to tuck him in.

Josh let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in as he sat on the edge of the bed. Resting his elbows on his knees with his head down, Josh loosely intertwined his fingers.

“I won’t lose my faith in you.” He started.

“You never cease to impress me. Whether it’s for a good thing or not. I take back all my wishes and prayers I’ve said for silly things and I’d like to combine them all as a whole for something powerful that I know- I just know you can lead Tyler there. I can’t lie to you. It’s getting harder but it isn’t impossible. He needs to see it personally but please help…” Josh looked over his shoulder to see Tyler still sound asleep.

“You’re all he wants to be.”

3 minutes seemed endless to one of them right now, but either can relate.

Tyler blinked twice to shed a single tear as soon as he heard the bedroom door close.


	3. the third time

_What’s it called when you fear the darkness starts to fade?_

* * *

 

A pile of crumpled papers started to build up slowly every two to five minutes or so. Tyler would try to go along with a few lines of lyrics or either threw it out not even one sentence finished. A relapse would probably do him good to write the unspoken. He knew he had about a million things to say that he could explain with endless phrases but his mind would hit a dead-end sign. Tyler wasn’t even able to write about his frustrating writer’s block. And it got him thinking. Thinking was good to write down whatever came to mind but he would overthink.

_Do I really feel this way?_

_Why do I feel as if I’m faking or forcing sadness?_

_I feel happy and I don’t like it?_

_I’m a horrible person if I do…_

Tyler would stare at the wall with a broken gaze until his mind became quite…

_What was I thinking about again?_

Some time had passed. Josh could see Tyler’s true bubbly self erupt. He wanted to go out more. He would take his time to dress properly, whether it was for a late night drive or a quick trip to the market. He would be brutally honest, in a good way to crack a laugh. Tyler is a really funny guy. Josh didn’t say anything about the sudden spark of happiness. Had he been heard?

Tyler played with the soft fabric of his leggings.

“Hey love.”

Tyler looked up to see Josh leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom.

He weakly smiled. “Hey Josh…”

“Is everything okay?” Josh turned his head to the side a bit, eyes still on his boyfriend.

It was at this time that Tyler felt his tongue stuttering, hesitant to speak.

“No.” A firm answer. _No… Yes?_

Tyler spoke before Josh was able to ask. Feeling the bed sink as Josh sat next to him.

“I don’t know if I am okay or not. I feel happier. I don’t think as destructively. Which… is a good… thing…” Tyler struggled. Josh was a bit frightened when he heard him scoff. “I don’t know!” Tyler’s mouth was hung open as if he were to continue to speak but his hands reached for the empty air. He didn’t know what to say.

“Tyler-”

“No!” Tyler stood up.

“I-I don’t know what it is I’m feeling, okay? And it bothers me! A lot more than you think, okay.” Tyler laughed.

“I don’t want to get happier? I think? I’ve been at this for so long that I find comfort in breaking? I keep asking and asking and I’m usually the one who answers what I need answered in the end. Overthinking helps in a way. Funny right? But I still feel this emptiness. I don’t know what it is.” Tyler’s voice started to break.

“Then I start to feel as if I will never stop thinking this way. I will never have true happiness but when I have some sort of false hope, I can’t help but to feel as If I’m forcing an act of demolishing upon me? That isn’t right! I don’t want to get better, I don’t want to try, and I feel like such an embarrassing faker who is “lost” when really, I’m just being dramatic. And it goes to where I’m done. And I want to die.”

Josh could hear his heartbeat.

Tyler’s eyebrows furrow. Realization hit him. “I want to die…”

Josh immediately sat Tyler back onto the bed. Tyler turned his head towards Josh, tears thoughtlessly tickling downwards his neck. “I keep questioning.”

It all lead to Tyler’s rock bottom. **“I don’t know.”**

 

* * *

 

 

The moonlight being their only source of light, the window’s shadow traced along two bodies melted into a warm embrace. Every time Tyler and Josh would sleep on one another, it always felt like the first time. Grand butterflies with their own names of love, excitement would only flutter faster with pink bashfuls, and emotion.

Tyler’s head on Josh’s chest, where the singer would admit to being a tad shy to sing dazedly without looking at his partner.

_“The air begins to feel a little thin.”_

While Josh was convinced Tyler was practically singing in his sleep, he closed his eyes.

“They say when God sends you a blessing… you don’t ask why it was sent. I believe that to be true.”

_“As I start the car and then I begin._

_To add the miles piled up behind me.”_

“I know this is a breakthrough. You are leading him there. I believe in you. Until then, I will never disappear from my angel’s side.”

_“I barely feel a smile deep inside me...”_

“But please… my God… remember that I am one man. One man with a heart. It hurts me to hear my angel wanting his time to be up when it’s far far from that.”

_“And I begin to envy the headlights driving south.”_

“I am not asking my angel to just stop wanting that… I know it’s hard…”

_“I want to crack the door so I can just fall out.”_

“Nor am I asking for you to just clear his head away from this. Everyone learns from what they go through.”

_“But then I remember when you packed my car…”_

“Take a break from me, God. Focus on my only angel. I’ll be okay, I promise you. One man with an iron fist I tell you… I only want the best for Tyler.”

_“You reached in the back and buckled up your heart.”_

“I plan to give him everything. Anything he wants.” The nightstand beside the bed, a ring with a thousand words coated with nothing else but a fine jewel to fit tradition lay hidden inside.

_“For me to drive away with…”_

“When the time is ready. Please focus on my angel. He’s my blessing.”

_“I begin to understand why God died.”_


	4. the first time he didn't hear

_I need something to kill me._

* * *

 

 

What difference does it take for everyone to stop repeating everything they’ve said?

_“Ground yourself. You are here. This is what’s happening now.”_

_“You are trapped in this bubble. You’ve said you want to get out. I don’t expect it to happen any time soon…”_

 

_But you expect it to happen._

 

_“But you will get there with baby steps. Now, I need you to promise me that you’ll get home safe. And you’ll sleep tonight safely.”_

_It’s never safe. But nothing ever happens._

As if one can stop the clockwork chimes, time never stops. The ticking of a wall clock he used to hear in his grandmother’s house becomes a robotic lullaby he remembers as he stares. Tyler’s head can’t stop pounding. He’s tried sleeping. He’s tried writing. He’s given up philosophizing. 

A familiar technological melody, almost intending as if he wished to fix himself that easily, starts playing in his head. Flashes from two years ago starts to render in Tyler’s mind, skin tearing, blood drips, and regret commences with a slight cringe in his stupidity. It’s been two years. Tyler doesn’t feel the inner triumph that blood has stayed within him where it’s meant to. It was an act of desperation to see if anyone would actually take a step forward to help clear his demented thoughts. He may have done it years ago, but it’s now Tyler finds he has only gotten worse. If whatever is in control out there finds him as some sort of void, there’s no point in trying to be anything else. Tyler believes he has no control. He never did. It was petty experimental strength forced from everyone around him who was tired of his selfless acts.

Josh comes home late, almost three in the morning late. A meeting discussing the new album, tours, just a minor setback in their paced schedule since Josh was a little behind.

He gasps slightly when he sees Tyler on the couch, staring at the muted TV.

It was at this time he truly felt scared. He put down his keys on the kitchen counter and slowly made his way to Tyler, crouching down in front of him.

Tyler’s eyes don’t blink.

Josh gently caressed Tyler’s knee and spoke softly. “Tyler? …Love, are you okay?”

Tyler looked down to Josh. “You’re home.”

He could hear Josh’s voice choke back. “Yes, baby. I told you I was going to be a little late tonight. Oh, you should’ve gone with me. Why stay here alone? Why are you awake?”

Tyler sees the digital clock on top of the TV change from 3:05 to 3:06AM. “It’s my anniversary.”

“What?”

“It’s been two years Josh.” Tyler reaches to bring his sleeve up but Josh stops him. Tyler looks at him with confusion.

“C’mon. Let’s go to bed.” Tyler doesn’t hear any emotion in Josh’s voice.

“No. I want to sleep here tonight.”

 

Josh now notices a single pillow on top of a folded blanket resting on the couch’s armrest.

“Alright. I’ll get a few more pillows and blankets.”

 

“No. I sleep here.”

 

The knives are in the kitchen.

 

“Tyler. I’m not going to leave you here. We don’t have to sleep. We could talk, play a game, or just be on social media.”

“I want to sleep here.”

“Tyler, why?” Josh starts to get frustrated.

“…I just want to.”

“I’m sorry Tyler but I can’t let you do that-

 

“Is it because you are afraid I’ll try something?” Tyler interrupts.

“I know where _they_ are. And no, I’m not going to submit to that senseless act of stupidity. Now let me sleep on the couch Josh.”

 

“I…” Josh stutters. “Y-You know what? Fine. Sleep here.”

“Good thing I have a day off tomorrow…” Josh mumbles under his breath but Tyler feels as if Josh mumbled loud enough for him to realize. The door slams.

 

* * *

 

 

 

For the past two hours Tyler kept opening his eyes to the digital clock in the dark to check the time, He falsely hoped for Josh to come back for anything since he was a little cold and didn’t know where the other blankets were.

 

No prayers were thought of that night.


	5. the fourth time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finale :(

_Where does your soul go when you find yourself completely alone?_

 

* * *

 

 

With a single search online about existential therapy, Tyler’s anxiety had suddenly become vulnerable to tear. A familiar feeling started to grow. Was the chair he was sitting in always this uncomfortable? Tyler’s eyebrows automatically furrowed, and he started to slap his arms in unison as he felt his breathing develop raggedly.

 

“God…” Tyler mumbled under his breath irritably.

 

_“Existential psychotherapy is a philosophical method that operates on belief that inner conflict within a person is due to that individual’s confrontations with the givens of existence.”_

Tyler mindlessly scrolled down with senseless tears burning.  

 

“ _The spiritual dimension:_

_…_ _It is here that they find meaning by putting all the pieces of the puzzle together for themselves. For some people, this is done by adhering to a religion or other prescriptive world view; for others, it is about discovering or attributing meaning in a more secular or personal way._ _The contradictions that must be faced on this dimension are often related to the tension between purpose and absurdity, hope and despair. People create their values in search of something that matters enough to live or die for, something that may even have ultimate and universal validity…_

_…_ _Facing the void and the possibility of nothingness are the indispensable counterparts of this quest for the eternal.”_

 

The outlook on life was something he didn’t understand himself. He had no outlook. He wasn’t afraid of death. Tyler wanted it. Tyler knew everything will come to an end. Tyler chose to swim down the ocean until he hit the mirrored ocean floor. His reflection didn’t mimic him. Instead, his reflection stepped in between dimensions to grab his wrist to save him from drowning. Tyler was then left alone floating in an empty void. This is what will become of us. We’ll see nothing because we’ll be nothing and since we’ll be a nothing, the blind can’t explain what it means to not really see… internally. Or externally, whatever the future will be damned with, paradise is nonexistent. What do we live for?

 

What if we stopped living? What if the earth stopped turning?

 

Is the aura of our souls truly visible to the dreamed afterlife? What is that blinding light some people recall on a sense of déjà vu? Is the quote “too good to be true” a dead-end waiting to open that’ll prove and answer to all that this is it? There is nothing more. You can believe in what you will and live for it. Or live to die.

 

Tyler wasn’t living at all.

 

Tyler reassured himself that he wasn’t afraid but the chair he was sitting in screeched against the floor when he pushed back to run up the stairs, to his phone. Desperate sobs were released as he dialed a number he felt guilty to call shakily.

The line started to ring.

 

“Hello?”

 

“J-Josh…”

 

“Tyler? What’s going on? What happened?”

 

“I’m having another attack…” Tyler cried harder if possible.

 

“Please… I need you. Please come home.”

 

“Okay! Okay, I’m on my way. Don’t ha-”

 

 Tyler hanged up.

 

* * *

 

 

Time didn’t appear to slow down. When Tyler needed Josh, he wasn’t there automatically like lightning, but fast enough to avoid any further damage. Tyler didn’t question it.

 

The front door opened. Josh spotted Tyler on the couch sitting upright, but crying painfully.

 

Josh gently pulled Tyler onto his lap for Tyler to dangle his legs over Josh’s. Tyler held onto Josh as if small parts of him were fading away. Tyler started to cry harder.

 

_We’ll see creation come undone._

“Everything’s okay baby… I’m here.”

 

To admit, Josh was terrified. He knew well about Tyler’s attacks but it was the first time he had ever called Josh for help, to come home and comfort him. Tyler wasn’t much of an open guy _meaning he wasn’t verbally open to Josh_ but when he was, his statements were dark and he always had regret after sharing pieces of his mind.

 

_These bones that bound us will be gone._

Tyler repeated Josh’s name over and over again.

 

“Josh Josh… Josh Josh Josh Josh…”

 

Josh wasn’t sure if Tyler was out of it. He seemed unresponsive because Tyler wouldn’t answer anything except repeat his name dozens of times.

 

“Baby please, I’m getting scared. I’m here, please.”

 

Josh carefully cupped Tyler’s cheek.

 

“Tyler. Tyler, please.”

_We’ll stir our spirits ‘til we’re one._

Tyler let out a wail that made Josh mentally swore that was it.

 

That was it, the cry broke his heart.

 

That was it, he didn’t want Tyler to be in anymore pain.

 

That was it, he was going to start taking real action. He felt guilty for the oblivious ignorance. He knew.

 

That was it, they were going to fight this together. To look for a better outlet. Tyler would call it holding onto false hope but if it has the means to get there, it’s possible.

 

_Then soft as shadows we’ll become._

Josh cupped Tyler’s other cheek to formally give a chaste kiss. It was a few seconds long. Tyler felt everything halt. His heart still needed a steady beat for his chest to stop rising abnormally.

 

Both of their foreheads rested against each other as Josh took both of Tyler’s wrists to lay his hands on his chest, feel his heartbeat.

 

“That’s it baby, breathe. It’s okay. Feel my heartbeat. Try to copy it. Breathe…”

 

Tyler’s brain no longer registered “danger danger” as he slipped his hands to hug Josh’s torso slowly. He leaned his head against Josh’s chest to hear his heartbeat.

 

“That’s great. I’m here. Be here.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I only want to help. What are you thinking of?”

 

“…Just my thoughts. Purpose. I…I don’t want to be here.”

 

 

**“I don’t want to live.”**

* * *

 

 

The problem with being aware of your thoughts is also being aware that you have a choice to either stay with them or leave to the unknown. Tyler wasn’t directly afraid of what that word could bring but it was the same point he brought out to every single hopeful loopwhole to find reason to try.

 

What’s the point? And he’ll think about death again.

 

* * *

 

 

Tyler woke up covered with a blanket on the couch. There wasn’t a heartbeat.

 

He sat upright, looking for Josh.

 

The digital clock read 6:30PM. With a blue sunset painting the room, Tyler heard a voice from the hallway leading to their bedroom. 

 

“Josh.”

 

Tyler wraps the blanket around his shoulders and wobbly walks with tired eyes. He could fall asleep again right there.

 

His brain signals an alert when a clear sob echoes through his ears. His tiredness from being tired melts away when he suddenly feels sick.

 

The bedroom door is open by an inch.

 

“God please.”

 

_Oh…_

Josh is sitting on the bed, hunched back facing Tyler while Josh looked out the window, holding a tissue.

 

He sniffs, “Please…” Josh shuts his eyes, face contorted with pain, twisted arm kind of pain when he was only crying.

 

“What do I have to do? Sacrifice myself?”

 

Tyler widens his eyes at that.

 

“Please guide Tyler. Why must everything be so hard on him? He’s my angel.”

“I’m in enough distraught when I know Tyler wants to go. Go to you.”

“It’s definitely not his time. Why can’t you send a simple sign to help him realize that what we have is a good thing going on here? This new album process is going slow but I don’t care. Tyler always comes first. He needs to be in good shape before we’ll even think of touring again.”

“He’s thrown out so many songs… Because he thinks they’re not good enough – he thinks he isn’t good enough!”

“I am pleading with you God please –”

 

“Josh.” Tyler deadpanned.

 

His boyfriend slightly gasped when his lover spoke suddenly and sternly.

 

“T-Tyler!” He quickly shoves the tissue in his pocket and walks to cup Tyler’s face. “How are you feeling baby?”

 

“I heard you.”

 

Josh smiles sadly. “I was hoping you would forget.”

 

“I always heard you.”

 

“What?”

 

“Hearing you pray. For me. At night.” Tyler makes eye contact. “Remember that night when you said _thank you_? You were playing with my hair. I heard you.”

 

Josh didn’t know what to say. Tyler was grateful for the silence as he kept talking.

 

“A few weeks ago when we had that little argument on the day of my…” Tyler coughs. “…I slept on the couch so I didn’t hear your prayers. I didn’t expect to hear anything but not even the thought of you praying could’ve been a lullaby for me.”

 

“Oh Tyler…”

 

“I’m sorry Josh. I’m sorry I’m such a pain. I’m sorry I’m a burden –

 

Josh covers Tyler’s lips with his thumb. “No Tyler. Don’t you ever feel sorry. If anything, I’m sorry. I prayed but I never really acted. For goodness sake, you went to the therapist alone. I’m sorry for not being truly there with you. Don’t worry. We’ll get through this.”

 

Josh pulls Tyler into an embrace.

 

“You are not a burden. You are my angel.”

 

* * *

 

 

_How frustrating and so degrading_

_His time, we're wasting_

_As time will fly by and the sky will cry as light is fading_

_And he is waiting, oh so patiently_

_While we repeat the same routine as we will please comfortability_

_Please don't think about why you can't sleep in the evening_

_And please don't be afraid of what your soul is really thinking_

_Your soul knows good and evil, your soul knows both sides_

_And it's time you pick your battle, and I promise you this is mine_

_(I promise you)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm yeah that's it. ik terrible right lolol. bittersweet ending. (?) 
> 
> please, i'd love to hear your thoughts. love, criticize, hate, idc. its fanfiction friend. 
> 
> thanks for reading.


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